Live LoudweDie Quiet

Quiet and Hidden
Concerned and Love Smitten

If I had answered, the response wouldn’t have changed.

No use in feeling the sadness

No use in feeling sorry for myself

No use in getting mad

No use in blaming myself

I know I wasn’t wrong

I know I did my best to just move past it

I know I shouldn’t have ignored it for as long as I did

I know I tried really hard to understand without explanation

I don’t just want attention

I don’t just want a half-assed apology

I don’t just need to grow up

I don’t just want to be treated like I only matter when I am in a good mood

I can’t worry about other people’s problems over my own

I can’t pretend like I don’t feel cheated. again. the third time.

I can’t ignore that I have feelings, it’s how I come here again and again

I can’t control myself

Remind me why I try so hard at this

Remind me why another chance is deserved

Remind me why I get am ok with  getting sick every few days from stress.

Remind me why my eyes take this brutual beating

I dreamed I was in the future

I dreamed that nothing was any more positive than it is right now

I dreamed I was happy, until I found reason not to be

I dreamed that it could still change

 Get mad because I hold my feelings in

Get mad because I show I feel and it’s not what what I “should” feel

Get mad because I wasn’t the one who fucked up

Get mad because I will forgive again and again 

because everyone else does.